Does Church Really Help My Kid?
Does Church Really Help My Kid?
3 Ways to Help Our Kids Tap into Truth
(Here’s a post that Jonathan sent me, I believe about two years ago that we never posted. My bad)
A few months ago Buzzworthy and TruthTheory each published articles claiming religious kids were less generous. Both articles cited a study of 1170 children, a study cited by over 80 media outlets including the Boston Globe and the LA Times. Everyone wanted a piece of this revealing story—church kids are really selfish snobs!
Only one problem.
The study was wrong. No, not just someone’s opinion—the study literally made a coding error on how it collected the data, and it changed the results completely. Yes, come to find out religious kids were actually far more generous. The study waseventually retracted.
Do you know how many media outlets shared this correction?
Just four.
Let’s face it. “Church kids are nicer” isn’t really a sexy headline. And in a country where only 45% of all adults go to church monthly, who really wants to read an article telling us to do something we’re not doing? (Experts have been telling parents to keep screens out of their kids’ bedroom for decades, but 89% of teenagers take their phone into their bedroom every night.)
So do we really want to know the truth?
We do… when our kids are in crisis. And right now, our world is experiencing an unprecedented spike in the percentage of kids struggling with depression, anxiety and suicide, and parents are desperate for answers.
But are they desperate enough to try church?
Does church really make a difference?
A recent Harvard study sought to find out if the frequency of which a child or teen attended church actually affected their mental health, and interesting enough, “those who attended religious services at least once a week as children or teens were about 18% more likely to report being happier in their 20s than those who never attended services. They were also almost 30% more likely to do volunteer work and 33% less likely to use drugs in their 20s as well.”
What about self-control?
Take a look at porn consumption. Barna conducted a recent study revealing 72% of young males (13-24) who were “not practicing Christians” were frequent porn users (those who seek out porn daily, weekly and monthly). Compare that practicing Christians of the exact same age? 41%. That’s a 31% disparity (and yes, 41% is still far too high).
But it’s not just church that makes a difference—it’s truly getting into God’s Word that really makes an impact and changes lives… and we’re talking major changes! For example. The Center for Bible Engagement conducted a study comparing Christians who spent time in the Bible 4 days a week to Christians who don’t, and the answers were eye-opening:
“A key discovery from the CBE research is that the life of someone who engages scripture 4 or more times a week looks radically different from the life of someone who does not. In fact, the lives of Christians who do not engage the Bible most days of the week are statistically the same as the lives of non-believers.”
The study shows specifics. For example: someone who engages the Bible 4 or more times a week is 228% more likely to share faith with others, 407% more likely to memorize scripture, and 30% less likely to struggle with loneliness.
We could look at countless examples, but the reality is that Jesus truly makes an impact in the lives of young people. In a world overflowing with lies, our kids desperately need to hear the truth.
So how can we help our kids soak in spiritual truth?
1. Model it.
As much as you want me to say that dropping your kid off at youth group once a week will do the trick, the fact is, Mom and Dad have the biggest impact, hands down. And if you want your kids to tap into spiritual truth, make it a habit in your life.
I’ve recently picked up Tim Keller’s book, Encounters with Jesus. Keller is the C.S. Lewis of this generation, and reading this book is like having a really smart guy sitting across the table from you eating a meal and dialoguing about Biblical truth in words you can understand. I try to begin my day with a little dose of Biblical truth like this daily.
What could that look like for you? What if you downloaded the Bible App and began going through a reading plan with your spouse? Reading plans are pretty cool. They have a social media aspect to them so you can share with others.
Helping our kids tap into spiritual truth begins with us tapping into Jesus ourselves.
But don’t just tap in…
2. Dialogue about it
As God’s word impacts you, share what you’ve learned.
One of the greatest parenting passages in the entire Bible is found in Deuteronomy, Chapter 6. Here Moses tells God’s people:
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deut 6: 6,7, NLT)
Yes, that’s a lot. Morning, night, sitting, walking… he wants us to share about what God did for us consistently.
Don’t know where to begin? Go through a devotional with your kid. Funny, my three top–selling books are teen devotionals, and I include discussions questions at the end of each chapter for that very reason—so Mom or Dad would read the book with their kid and discuss it.
Go to breakfast once a week with your kid and make this a regular thing. Open the doors of dialogue in your home.
But don’t let it stop there…
3. Don’t do it alone
Yes, please do take them to youth group.
A couple years ago my 20-something daughter began serving as a small group leader in her church high school group. She loved it. I told her, “I wish you had that growing up.”
She agreed. In fact, I’ll never forget her words. She said, “Don’t get me wrong, you guys were great, but there’s certain things that a kid doesn’t want to ask their parents. I would have loved a mentor to talk with regularly about my life!”
Does your son or daughter have a trusted mentor?
Do your kids have someone safe?
Who is pouring into your kids? (Hopefully the answer isn’t Post Malone and Cardi B.)
In a world overflowing with lies, expose your kids to truth. Find a place to plug in to God’s family and connect your kids with others who are growing in their relationships with God. Studies continually show… it makes a world of difference!
Jonathan McKee is the author of over 20 books including If I Had a Parenting Do Over and The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices. Jonathan to speaks parents and leaders worldwide BecomingScreenWise.com
